It’s been a long time.
No matter how hard you try, there’s nowhere to run in this world. What gives solace?
Know my heart. Divine, guide me.
Life is hard, but I’m harder.
I am now completely indestructible
I cried today. In front of you.
I feel almost confident that if I have no roots by the time you leave…I’ll leave too…
Focused on self identifying for what I think is the first time. I pray I keep this up, with Their help.
–
A thought that’s been on my mind all day: embrace your manhood as you are the reflection of Him. Embrace your womanhood as you are the reflection of Her.
We are balanced. We are duality.
You are yourself and nobody else. I don't know you very well but we have spoken before. You cannot let other things completely define your person. If you don't know what kind of person you are at the moment, you will eventually find out. And if not then you can just keep on being you. People will judge and get judged base on shallow things that don't really matter but, at the end of the day, everyone is human no matter how good/bad.
— Anonymous
Yes, I think I recognize you. You asked who “They” were previously right? Thank you for these kind words. I’m continually surprised, albeit pleasantly, at the response I still get from this blog-turned-freeform thought expression.
I do agree with you. My identity has been corrupted by childhood emotional and psychological trauma, however, so being who I feel is “me”, or in other words doing what feels natural to me, is actually signs of this trauma. My natural state is an unnatural one, and I resent that. With that being said there is nothing that can be done but accept what cannot be changed and find strength in that which can be, and that is where I currently am. I believe we are all products of our environment- language, culture, even how to feel- these are all taught to us and form our identities. Because of this, I believe none of us really have something that is uniquely our own and instead are influenced entirely by outside forces- our parents, guardians and environment form our identities before we reach self-consciousness.
We do have the power of choice, however, and that is what I’m attempting to possess more control over. I can not change my past, the way its shaped my identity, or the way its conditioned me to feel, but I can make a conscious effort to live, regardless of these things, in the way I deem fit. This choice-power is the strongest we as humans possess.
Thank you for your words and positive energy- thank you for choosing to share those with me. And thank you for giving me an outlet to articulate these thoughts. I’ll re-read this ask and use it as material to continue my self-reflection. I don’t have anyone to talk to in my real life, so I really appreciate being given this opportunity to just express outwardly. :)
But how do I define myself for myself?! Just… do it!
Defined by shit I didn’t even ask for. Damn…
The gift of life is distorted by man